Overwhelmed by the Bible?

Do you ever feel like the Bible is this insurmountable obstacle full of things you think you should know, and want to learn... but there is just TOO much! It is a THICK book with THIN pages! How are we supposed to read that?

Try just starting small.

Think of it like a library

and less like a book.

You don't start reading the library from one end to the other,

you pick out one book you want to read, then when you are done, you get another.

Not such a mountain then.

And if you are feeling REALLY overwhelmed by the size of the Bible.

Read Malachi.

He doesn't talk much.

Wives submit.

EPHESIANS 5:22

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands

EPHESIANS 5: 25

Husbands, love your wives

Boy, I used to HATE those scriptures. WHAT? I'M supposed to SUBMIT? What does THAT mean? Are I not good enough, am I the second class citizen? I will BURN my bra! Women's rights!

THEN....

I thought about it.

THEN...

I realized that I wanted my Husband to love me.

I wanted him to hug me and kiss me and hold me.

and HE wanted to feel like he was WORTHY of being my husband and the father to our child. That him going out and working, providing and helping us, was enough to make HIM feel happy with himself.

I could help him with that.

If I thanked him for going to work each day and let him know that I appreciated all the hard work he was doing for me, for our family, then HE was happy.

If HE told ME that he thought I was beautiful, that he was grateful for all that I did at home for him so that he could come home and rest, than I was happy.

I WAS submitting to him. I was letting him provide so that he could feel fulfilled.

He in turn was letting me know that he loved me and appreciated me.

We were both feeling loved and appreciated, but in different (albeit subtle) ways.

It's like that book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

Men and women think differently.

We act differently.

And sometimes we need different things to make us feel complete.

That doesn't make one right, or wrong.

It just means that there is a difference.

Women was made from man's rib,

Not from his head to top him,

Nor from his feet to be trampled by him,

But from his rib,

Under his arm to be held by him,

Close to his heart to be loved by him.

I always LOVED that quote and can never remember who said it.

EPHESIANS 5:22

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord

EPHESIANS 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.

There is a difference in our needs.

Cherish that difference.

The horrible, no-good, very bad day.

I am a sinner. I am sometimes unrepentant. Sometimes I don't even think I need to repent of all the sins I do in a day.

I yelled at my daughter today.

I was very VERY angry with my husband and we fought.

I was very lazy today and didn't do the cleaning or make the phone calls I needed to make.

I was very depressed and upset with myself today. I felt fat, stupid, unproductive, angry, lazy, tired, ugly and like my life was a mess.

Do you have those days?

Isn't it easier to be angry?

Isn't it easier to think others think the same of us, and that's ok, because it's true.

Now, try telling yourself, when you are in that horrible, no-good, very bad day moment, that God loves you.

Kind of sticks in your throat huh?

Definitely sounds fake coming out of my mouth.

I have the signs up on the wall.

The pictures of Jesus' smiling face.

My Bible by my bed where I read it. Sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night and sometimes in the middle of the day when I throw a tantrum and go to my room to cool off.

But all of these things feel very fake when I am mad or depressed.

They feel like they are someone else's property.

The pictures and sayings are up on my wall so that when people come to visit it looks like I am a happy, well adjusted, religious women with a happy, well adjusted, Christ-like home.

But it's all just a show right?

Remind yourself.

God loves you.

God LOVES you.

GOD loves you.

God loves YOU.

GOD loves YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Is that weird? Is that hard?

Than keep saying it until you feel like you can believe it.

It doesn't mean we suddenly are better people. It doesn't mean our depressed or bad feelings go away. But doesn't it make it a little easier to WANT to be happy if someone else loves you too?

I know that I rely too much on my husband to see my own worth.

Does he love me today? Then I am worth being loved!

Is my daughter hugging me? Than I must be good enough to hug!

Why is it harder to use God as our measuring stick?

Because He's not physically here?

THAT is why we need a personal relationship with God.

Find Him in your life. Make Him a real part of your life and you may yet be able to measure your worth through His eyes.

Did I make you think it was easy?

It's not.

I can't do it.

But I know I should. (sometimes) Sometimes I forget.

Can you remind me?

I will try and remind you.

I think that is why we need church in our lives.

So that we can not only remind others that God loves them. They are worth loving. But also so others can remind US!

God loves you.

Lonely when I'm not alone.

These days I feel bombarded by my old life. It seems such a sunny, happy remembrance, something I am missing out on. Somewhere I should be. Yet I can't go back. I can't say why I left, and I don't know why I can't go back. Is it solely pride? My family? Or am I really and truly searching for the truth.

I don't think people believe my passion for Christ.

I don't know if I believe I have that passion.

Where am I on sunday? Should I be trying harder? Should I be praying more?

My life is SO not where I expected it to be 10 years ago. Or even 5 years ago.

I feel left out. Abandoned. Lonely.

Is the only place that you find real friends at church?

Or is it just me. Am I the one that makes my life hard.

The times that I try to be involved I feel happier for awhile, but I still feel left out.

The times I stay home and do nothing I feel inconsolable.

Where is the justice?

Why did God make me this way?

This sad shell of a person. Unable to stand up for herself. To be liked. To like herself.

Where do I find faith in a God that says so many different things to people? All religions change. All religions grow with the times. No religion is the same as it was when it started. They all have excuses. "People were not ready for it" "The world was not ready for it" "The church was not ready for it" "The doctrine had not yet been revealed"

But it all amounts to the same thing.

How can God be unchanging... If he is constantly changing?

"It is not God, but man, who keeps changing"

Shouldn't there be some blatant sign that THIS is God?

Faith is foolish. How can it be faith in one God, when all faiths vary so vastly?

Such horrible things are done in the name of faith. Such horrible acts of eliteness, snobbery, pride, belittling, putting others down. All done in the name of faith.

I don't feel loved.

I just feel lonely.

How can you be lonely when you know you're not alone?

Reflections

I love this song. I have always felt music can touch people where words get lost. I am so very grateful for all the talented people out there who share their gift and their love of God.

The pictures in this are so moving and uplifting, I am so glad that someone brought such joy to their reflections!